Sunday, April 27, 2008

Day One: Butta has landed.

The family calls my car, a cream colored Chrysler 300C, Butta. When I first got it, I kept saying how it had a ride as smooth as butta - so the name stuck. Butta is the only familiar thing in my world right now.

When I got into Clovis last night, I stopped in Walmart to pick up a few personal items before heading to Fort Sumner, sixty miles away. The sun was shining, it was 78 degrees and breezy when I went inside. Twenty minutes later when I gathered my purchases to leave, I was confronted with 55 miles an hour winds blowing red dirt like fine pellets across the parking lot and the temperature had fallen to 68 (the windchill had to be in the 30's). I nearly froze in my light denim capris and three dollar flip flops as I ran through the "dirty rain" looking for my car.

An hour later when I pulled into Staci's driveway, the wind was blowing even stronger. No one was home so I wrestled my bags out of the trunk and finally got them over the gravel yard (not a good platform for bags on wheels) and into the house. I had to find some warmer clothes and socks!

Kolt and Johni came home about fifteen minutes later and that lifted my spirits some. But the truth is, I was terribly lonely for Michael and nothing was going to fix that. The anxiety and even some apprehension about this new chapter of our lives was a bit overwhelming.

I'm excited about my new job - concerned about finding a new home in this very different environment - torn about whether or not to sell our home in Texas - happy to have an opportunity to be a bigger part of Staci's children's lives - sad about not being an hour away from having lunch with my girlfriends and a host of other things that just keep running through my mind.

I chose not to go to church with the family this morning so I could have some quiet time with God to ask for wisdom, patience and comfort. Then, I'm going into to my new "hometown" to look around and take some photos of houses for sale to send to Mike. I also need to take a look at Staci's rent house since that's where I'll be staying for the next month or so, until we find something more permanent.

It's a beautiful day for it. Nice and cool and a soft breeze - but I'm clear about one thing. That could change in a heartbeat.

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